I wrote this in the EB minutes 2/2/06
The past week has been a very tough one for me. For quite some time now I’ve felt less than good, ‘stale’ and actually quite down. I’m tired and I think a little burnt out. I’ve recognized this and been aware of this since I came back from Pakistan. The frustrating thing is that although I have recognized this (it’s a positive thing to have recognized that I need a break rather than not being aware of it) I’ve been unable to take the break that I need. I have struggled in the past and still struggle now with getting a good balance between AIESEC and everything else in my life.
The workload is not an issue, the issue is that I know what will fix things but have been unable to act on it. That has really gotten me. It’s become a bit of a vicious circle – me being demotivated, the list of ASAPs piling up, me stressing out, being even more demotivated, ASAPs pile getting even bigger etc. and so on. In all that I have not been able to take a break really because my mind has always been on what I have to do.
Sharing my feelings with the RB and my EB has really helped. Finding and (re-)highlighting what it is I’m trying to achieve in AIESEC has helped. Thinking about my 5 year plan has helped – helped me focus on my priorities. Tackling my list of todos is helping.
Coming out of this I’m committing to keeping a real balance. I also should have shared with my RB and with my EB sooner – and I shouldn’t have simply turned my phone off and made myself pretty unreachable for the last week. I need to externalize. I usually tackle any AIESEC issues head on, but in the last week I’ve let it slip. Now I’m catching up.
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I'm in the process of getting back into it. There are some things that I haven't attended to for a long time, and if I've been letting people down this isn't an excuse but rather an explanation of why I've been incommunicado.
Having said all this, I feel it's important to say that although this is one of the lowest periods I've been through, I'm still here and I'm lucky enough to have some very special and loving people in my life. Life is a long journey...
The past week has been a very tough one for me. For quite some time now I’ve felt less than good, ‘stale’ and actually quite down. I’m tired and I think a little burnt out. I’ve recognized this and been aware of this since I came back from Pakistan. The frustrating thing is that although I have recognized this (it’s a positive thing to have recognized that I need a break rather than not being aware of it) I’ve been unable to take the break that I need. I have struggled in the past and still struggle now with getting a good balance between AIESEC and everything else in my life.
The workload is not an issue, the issue is that I know what will fix things but have been unable to act on it. That has really gotten me. It’s become a bit of a vicious circle – me being demotivated, the list of ASAPs piling up, me stressing out, being even more demotivated, ASAPs pile getting even bigger etc. and so on. In all that I have not been able to take a break really because my mind has always been on what I have to do.
Sharing my feelings with the RB and my EB has really helped. Finding and (re-)highlighting what it is I’m trying to achieve in AIESEC has helped. Thinking about my 5 year plan has helped – helped me focus on my priorities. Tackling my list of todos is helping.
Coming out of this I’m committing to keeping a real balance. I also should have shared with my RB and with my EB sooner – and I shouldn’t have simply turned my phone off and made myself pretty unreachable for the last week. I need to externalize. I usually tackle any AIESEC issues head on, but in the last week I’ve let it slip. Now I’m catching up.
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I'm in the process of getting back into it. There are some things that I haven't attended to for a long time, and if I've been letting people down this isn't an excuse but rather an explanation of why I've been incommunicado.
Having said all this, I feel it's important to say that although this is one of the lowest periods I've been through, I'm still here and I'm lucky enough to have some very special and loving people in my life. Life is a long journey...
you're an amazing person, and i know things will get better for you soon :)
Chin up, buddy. Everybody goes through these ups + downs, particularly in AIESEC, I'm sure you'll get through it but try to keep the big picture in mind during the tough times. Ie. why you do what you do and why it's essential to keep going...
Good Luck and let me know if you need anything,
Alex
Thank you Saba and Alex, your support means a lot to me. Alex I really valued your sugarcube from conference. It was challenging to me and I think you hit the bulls eye when you suggested that I externalise issues more and open up. Thanks for that.